mel-web

Sure, God exists.

Yup, Got me a Savior, it’s awesome.

If you agree with those two statements then you accept the basic truths of Christianity.  But are you really a Christian?  To be Christian means to be a disciple of Christ.  That is, to strive to be like Christ.  I keep reading my bible and realizing how crappy I am at this.  I don’t love everyone equally, I boast about myself,  I chase after worldly things that can be stolen, rust, and fade, I certainly do not act as a slave to all others, I’m really bad at being a good stuart, and I’m a complete failure when it comes to evangelizing.  Heck, I can’t even abide by the commandments.

Lucky for me God knew I’d be a fuck up.

But grace and a savior don’t excuse me from my responsibilities.  I find myself surrounded by ‘believers’ that entice me to be lazy in those responsibilities.  These are the folks that may or may not go to church, for the right or wrong reasons.  But they profess to be christians and to spend time with God, and to keep Him close.  Yet their actions say something else.  And if you ask them, they’ll tell you about how they think God accepts what they’re doing, that it’s just bending the rules.  The have an “understanding” with God is what they tell me.

I have finally, after many years of being a ‘believer’, become a disciple.  This has lead to many realizations about how poor my knowledge of God’s feelings.  That’s a crazy notion that I think gets neglected:  God’s feelings.  God has feelings?  God feels for us?  We offend Him and hurt Him?  We can make Him dance with joy?

Do I make Him dance more than cry?  Do I disappoint Him more often than I make Him smile?  Just because I think it’s okay in His eyes am I really doing what He wants?  Am I actually frustrating Him with my misunderstanding of His wishes?  I am serving God in a advisory capacity instead of as an underling?  How does it feel when someone points out in the bible “You’re doing it wrong!”?  How will I know when I’ve meet His wishes? Am I really being a disciple or just a believer?